Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
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Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
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Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
They have beer where we have blood.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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