apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
