i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
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I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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