Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize