when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
