so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
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Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
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At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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