He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
