Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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