So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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