I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The feeling are messing with the penis
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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