she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
