Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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