Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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