I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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