Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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