turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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