I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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