2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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