i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
