He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
