News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
