How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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