I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize