dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Quick, to the slutcave!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
