just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
