is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
