You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
