you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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