You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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