So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize