When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
