You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm just crazy horny about you
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
