i was born a porn star she said
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
