did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
