i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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