I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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