trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its not stalking. its research.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
