Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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