If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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