I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
