You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
