Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
