I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
