Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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