your thong is hanging out like whoa
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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