Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
