don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
