Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
