My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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