apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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