I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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