I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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