Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
