I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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