She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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