Will you blow on my dice?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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