She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
