I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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