We won't sleep together?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
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All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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