so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
