two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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