Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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