Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
