I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
