Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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