how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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